Well, now, this is clearly the best way to wake up in the morning. Instead of an angry, incessant, buzz, this alarm clock welcomes you into the new day with the delightful chirping of a little bird and then the soothing voice of an English butler. And not just any English butler, but the greatest fictional butler of all-time, Jeeves. And not just any Jeeves, but the greatest Jeeves of all-time, Stephen Fry, who played him alongside Hugh Laurie's pre-House Wooster on the Jeeves & Wooster TV series back in the early '90s.
And he certainly knows how to ease you back into the waking world, with more than 120 different greetings. Like, say:
"I am delighted that you have survived another night." [listen]
"The world has been very anxious to hear from you for last eight hours. Shall I inform the news agencies you're about to rise, Sir?" [listen]
"It is time to face the day. Shall I cancel your appointments and a hotel for a month in the Seychelles? Very good, Sir." [listen]
"I feel sure you have slept soundly, feel thoroughly refreshed, and await the day with the anticipation of an energetic gazelle." [listen]
"Your horoscope is promising very considerable profit and and equal quantities of pleasure. The world merely requires your presence for the process to begin." [listen]
"Let us seize the day and take it roughly from behind, as the Colonel used to say in his unfortunate way." [listen]
You can listen to a few more examples here, and buy it there as well. Or, it seems, from Amazon here. It comes both in "Sir" and "Madam" versions (the "Madam" is the one pictured).