Ten Thoughts I Have While Getting A Massage (Who Says They Are Relaxing?) by Andrea Grassi

Whilst on my stomach:

1. I really hope I have a good-looking guy masseuse. Actually, NO; that would be a bad thing. Remember that episode of Seinfeld, when that male masseuse touched Castanza’s butt? That would definitely happen to you.

2. What’s her name?? “Kellay”? “Kellai”? Please don’t tell me she is trying to reinvent “Kelly”.

3. Being a masseuse would be pretty OK. Listening to chill music in the dark with strangers… eh, wait – NO! Do they even have security cameras in this place? This job is so dangerous! OMG Kalluah just touched my butt!

4. How can guys get massages? Aren’t they turned on by all of this rubbing? How can they not be turned on by … wait. I wonder how many bodies she’s touched today… OH GOD, I hope KrayKray washed her hands. *thinking of back acne*

5. Do you tip a person after they’ve touched your body with oils (that smell like Olive Oil by the way)? Will that make Kella feel cheap? Shit, you only have change… Yeah, tip cause then you’ll look cheap. Leave it on the pillow?

Whilst on my back:

6. Eyes open? Eyes closed? Eyes… OK, eyes closed.

7. Is this music from Memoirs of a Geisha? DON’T LAUGH. OK DON’T LAUGH. Kalli is going to think you are psychotic. Just frown and pretend something hurts.

8. You definitely look like the joker right now – mascara be soooo smudged.

9. STOP IT! DON’T SMILE! Keke isn’t going to do the whole 60 minutes if you don’t stop laughing at yourself. OH. OH. GREAT. She just cleared her throat. Done. KoKo thinks you are crazy.

10. Was that the full hour I paid for? It didn’t feel like a full hour… I smell like a salad bar. 

-----

Andrea Grassi is a writer and blogger based in Toronto. For more musings, click: agrassi.com



5 comments:

Unknown said...

This post is about the person experience who is highlighting the different ways to get relax. Now a days everyone wants to be tension free and if you want to be tension free osteopathy Canberra of these post will be very helpful.

Unknown said...

Body massage is important for every student, massage normalize the blood pressure of a person, Massage near Freshwater improves circulation of the body, it also improves skin tone, the main benefit is that it improves recovery of soft tissue injury, it increases joint mobility and flexibility, it improves the stimulation of lymphatic system.

alizybeth said...

I'd be keen on just being uncovered during the entire massage. I might not relax during it if that were the case.Massage Prague

Post Guest Blogs said...

Write for Us Free Guest Blog

GravityPhysio said...

While receiving a massage at Brookvale Sports Physio, people often experience a sense of relaxation and relief as skilled therapists work on easing their muscle tension and addressing specific areas of discomfort, leaving them with a renewed sense of well-being and physical rejuvenation.

Post a Comment