A squirrel in California caught the plague. A woman discovered flesh-eating maggots in her brain. Scientists stopped light. Mice were implanted with false memories. Worms grew new heads with their old memories inside. Ancient Greek graffiti was discovered. Pussy Riot's Nadezhda Tolokonnikova was denied parole. Russia passed fucked up, homophobic laws. Tilda Swinton held a rainbow flag outside the Kremlin. Desmond Tutu said he'd rather go to hell than a homophobic heaven. Children with queer parents were better off. More British soldiers killed themselves than were killed in Afghanistan. Haliburton destroyed evidence of the BP oil spill. In Canada, shipments of oil by train went up by 28,000% in four years. The Harper government made blacklists of "enemy" Canadians and wouldn't explain why they didn't put the 1921 census online. The G20 fence law was still on the books in Ontario. Canadians lost trust in each other. Americans fetishized Paris. American politicians wanted to put a National Park on the moon. Slate wrote about the most dangerous island in the world. Women knew baseball too, thanks. Patricia Lockwood wrote a poem called "Rape Joke". Kenneth Goldsmith explained the difference between smart-smart, smart-dumb, dumb-smart and dumb-dumb. Netflix secretly cropped movies. The elderly were young. The Vatican offered time off purgatory for following the Pope on Twitter. Twitter will never catch on.