One of the great things about naming your ongoing column of haiku poems "Irregular" is that you can post them as irregularly as you want. And so, months after our last haiku and weeks after the end of the film festival, we bring you Sachin Hingoo's haiku reviews of films from this year's TIFF:
Arirang
Slow, meandering
Just way too self-indulgent
We walked out early
LIVID
Yes, a fairy tale
But one that's super gory
Yay, taxidermy!
The Raid
Story's a bit weak
But people get punched and stabbed
Often both at once
50/50
Cancer is funny?
Yes, when Seth Rogen's around
He's really the star.
The Incident
An asylum flick
Crazies escape and cause shit
Ending's too obtuse
The Moth Diaries
Great, more vampires.
Except they never have sex
A poor man's Twilight.
Monsters Club
Japanese movie
Based on the Unabomber
As bad as it sounds
From Up On Poppy Hill
Ugh, nothing happens!
Even incest can't save this
And now I'm asleep
Juan of the Dead
Zombies take Cuba!
If this doesn't excite you
You are dead inside.
Extraterrestrial
Yes, it's a rom-com
With an alien subplot
Both fun and charming.
The Skin I Live In
Not your mom's Volver
This film is beyond twisted
But truly gorgeous
Lovely Molly
Blair Witch, but scary.
Best horror film from this year
First-time actress, wow.
The Day
What's with the child deaths?
Seems to be a theme this year
These ones were fun, though.
Into The Abyss
Death penalty's bad
Except for the times it's not
This was depressing.
Take Shelter
I love Mike Shannon
He plays a great crazy dude
Best of the year, here.
Kill List
This was very rough
Just extremely violent
Hammer to the face!
Jeff, Who Lives At Home
Sappy, tedious
Could have been half an hour
Segel's been better
We Need To Talk About Kevin
Swinton's heart-wrenching
And her kid is such a shit
Truly frightening
[side note]
Crying at this point
I saw some depressing stuff
Year Of The Downer
Snowtown
Australia's fucked!
Kangaroos and murderers
All on the barbie
Generation P
Russian marketing
Psychedelics and cocaine
This can't be described
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Sachin Hingoo is a freelance writer when he is not working at an office job that is purpose-built for paying the bills while he works as a freelance writer. His writing has appeared on Mcsweeneys.net, the CBC Street Level Blog, Ohmpage.ca, and The Midnight Madness Blog for the Toronto International Film Festival. He has also been featured at Toronto lecture series Trampoline Hall (which is rumored to be excellent). His mutant power is 'feigning interest'. You can read all of his posts here.
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