The Amazing Race is Back! (And It's Full Of Idiots!)

One of my most favourite reality-TV shows ever premieres again tonight, just in time to take my mind off the fact that the Olympics are over and that I'll never be able to attain that level of greatness with my life. Luckily, the 24th season of The Amazing Race is another "All-Star" season, packed mostly with people that I hate so, so, so much from previous seasons — watching them all yell and scream their way across the world will make me feel better about myself as a human being.

Here is a list in no particular order of who is racing and why I hate them (or love them... but there is not much love happening here):

Team 1: Brendon and Rachel, who you might remember from either Season 20, or from the stupid number of times they have been on Big Brother.

Why I hate them: If you've ever watched these two before, you'll know why I hate them. Rachel is grating, irritating, seemingly useless and totally dependent on Brendon to do anything. Also, she competes in reality shows for a living. I feel like I should love Brendon, because he is supposedly smart and currently researching ways to hopefully stop Alzheimer's, but I hate him because he puts up with Rachel's bullshit and doesn't tell her off when she is being completely terrible to him.

Team 2: Natalie and Nadiya, twins from Season 21

Why I hate them: I should like them, because they're women and they're pretty tough competitors. But their constant high-pitched screeching of "TWINNIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!" every other minute and the over-reacting and screaming and yelling for no apparent reason is enough to give me a headache. I found myself muting the television whenever they were on, and you'll probably do the same.

Team 3: Bopper and Mark, two best friends from a really poor city in Kentucky, originally on Season 20

Why I hate them: Actually, I don't. Bopper and Mark are just two really nice guys, who were happy and excited to be racing and needed the money to help Bopper's sick daughter. I think they'll be fun to watch race again and could do really well, if they remember to pay attention to the clues.

Team 4: Jessica and John, lovebirds from Season 22

Why I hate them: John was super arrogant and thought he was the smartest and best at everything (hint: he wasn't). This arrogance caused them to stupidly not use their coveted Express Pass to skip a really tough task and led to their elimination, Express Pass in hand, on the third leg. Idiots. If they get over themselves they might be interesting to watch, but I'm not holding my breath.

Team 5: Jet and Cord, cowboys from Seasons 16 & 18

Why I hate them: Hmm. I don't appear to hate these guys either. They almost won their first season and did pretty ok the second time around. They don't really fight and also don't yell, which makes for a pleasing television watching experience.

Team 6: Joey and Meghan, YouTube hosts from Season 22

Why I hate them: I mostly hate them because YouTube hosts? Seriously? How is that even an occupation? They're both also ridiculously perky, which I guess is why they're good at the YouTubes. I don't know. They're mostly inoffensive, I guess, but  I wouldn't mind if they disappeared quickly.

Team 7: Jennifer and Caroline, country music people from Season 22

Why I hate them: I actually don't remember much about them, other than them flirting their way through most of the race with the eventual winners, Bates and Anthony. Bates and Anthony were pretty hot, but I despise flirting as an overall strategy which is enough to make me annoyed with these two. Luckily for us, there are absolutely no hot teams of men racing this time around, so we probably won't have to watch that happen again.

Team 8: Leo and Jamal, cousins from Season 23

Why I hate them: I hate ANY team that comes into the race with a nickname already created for themselves, no matter how great they turn out to be at the race. Hate. So, these guys rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go with their Afghanimals nickname (get it? They're Afghani... and ANIMALS!). They also flirted with the hot blonde girl team and thought they were the best people on the planet, which is obviously not true, since they lost. Which I hope they do again.

Team 9: Flight Time and Big Easy, Harlem Globetrotters from Seasons 15 & 18

Why I hate them: It's practically impossible to hate these two! They're hilarious, and made it really far in both of their previous seasons, without yelling or screaming or being dicks to any of the other teams. I want to hug both of them.

Team 10: Ugh. Margie and Luke, mother and son, from Seasons 14 & 18. Ugh.

Why I hate them: I really have absolutely no idea why Margie and Luke are back. Again. They are unbearable to watch. They are pretty decent racers, but are prone to ridiculously huge meltdowns, and Margie seems to have no idea that Luke is a grown man. I suppose I should have some compassion for this team, since they've been through a lot with Luke being deaf (and gay!), but they just come across so unsympathetically that they are near the top of my "Most Hated Racers" list.

Team 11: Dave and Connor, father and son, from Season 22

Why I do not hate them at all: I had to leave these guys for the end, because I love them so much. Dave (the dad) RUPTURED his Achilles tendon and tore his calf muscle in the 2nd Leg, and kept racing on crutches until they finally withdrew from the competition in Leg 5. If that is not awesome, I don't know what is, considering that some contestants will panic if their hair is messed up or if they have to drive stick. These guys are totally fierce and if they manage to stay uninjured, I hope they win the whole damn thing.


Laurie McGregor is a Toronto-based dilettante. She watches way too much reality television and wishes that everyone could all just get along. She likes books, soft things, baking, unicorns, robots and has an unnatural love of vending machines. You can find her posts here and email her at


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